I can't help myself

Seems like the more I try to force myself to feel happiness the more it feels un natural

The most comfortable thing I know is this

You

My absolutely awful, happy place

The one emotion that truly fills the emptiness

The darkest part of loneliness, pain, sadness and tears

I keep hoping I can divorce myself from you, but truth is, I'd be lost without you

I am most at home in this dark place

You sneak up on me without warning and like a sentimental fool I relent and give in to you

Our secret rendezvous are always hard, but I always walk away feeling ripped open, completely exposed yet horribly fulfilled

My moments of happiness are always accompanied with anticipation of your return

My release is to let you win, to greet with a warm embrace the darkness within me, to sit and weep with you old friend